Author: Colm

Dubliner, drinking Guinness for 20 years. First pint was in the UCD student bar where the taste/ price ratio was unpassuppable (£1.80 a pint!). On a mission to call out shite pints of Guinness & credit good pints where credit's due.

Ned Claffey’s, Castletown Geoghegan – Dec ’15 (2/4)

Not Guinness Time, Not Here Anyway

This really is a lovely, cosy little pub situated is the middle of nowhere away from any hustle n bustle &, oftentimes, from any mobile network coverage too. Though there’s a mini lounge, we ordered in the bar as there was a big open fireplace in there that adds greatly to the atmosphere. It’s the kind of place that you’d just expect the pints to be of a good quality; down the country, cosy family-run pub, around €4.20 a pint; it was meant to be.

Claffeys 20 Dec 15 3

The pint arrived frothing a little, which is obviously not a good sign. As you can see from the pic on the left above, as it settles, it’s looking ever-so-slightly fizzy or over-fluffy (as opposed to a thick-creamy one) which indicates over-carbonation. Once settled, it had the perfect priests collar, but a G-Man won’t be fooled. I went for a single-gulper, as I was trying to behave, & as it washed over my tongue & down my throat I knew the verdict; my hunch was right, it tasted off. Off in the usual too-much-carbonation-it’s-a-two-at-best kind of way. I’ve tasted it all before & it’s always the same; no care for the gas & thus a let-down to the G-Lovers amongst us. They can look the part but without the requisite nitrogen, they fail. I went back to the well just in case but, as always, it came back the same: 2/4. I wish I could get used to the disappointment but it still gets me every time. At least I had a rake of these to look forward to anyway.

Middleton Park House, Castletown Geoghegan – Dec ’15 (3/4)

Guinness Time

Well, this has to be one of the most quality settings for a pint of the Good BlacknWhite you could possibly have the pleasure of drinking in. In Dublin, you can generally work to the rule; the “classier” the spot, the worse The Black Stuff. The “top-end” think they have it nailed but they forget the most basic of pub protocols; the pint of Guinness, so I usually find myself trying a pint & moving on to bottles of beer (the humanity!) if, for some reason, I happen to find myself in a posh joint. So, with that in mid, what kind of a pint would you expect from a land-owner stately-home dating back to Famine times?

MPH 2

I was expecting to be disappointed, especially so considering that it was my wedding. I had to hold off for the day to keep from being tired & emotional for the speeches & it was tough going seeing the guests, a number of them fellow G-Men, enjoying the pints for 5 hours before I could finally venture to the cosy confines of the bar & order my first G as a married man.

The pint was served with a decent bit o’the cream; as it should be, so I was happy to go for a good single gulp. It was nice & creamy to the touch, a more-than-acceptable lip-flop & to my surprise, nay, my delight, it had good taste to boot. This was a pint as it should be. I would honestly have been heartbroken if my wedding venue couldn’t boast half-decent pints & thankfully it wasn’t a let-down. Post-speeches I tucked into a few more & they were most certainly consistent.

I had a rake-load of them the next evening in the wonderful setting that is the Middleton Park House bar; a large open peat fire with comfortable slouch-couches, & they retained their form: good all-rounders; solid three’s.

Neary, Dublin – Dec ’15 (3/4)

Guinness Time

This is one of my favourite pubs. An oasis of calm in the centre of town & such a great place to drop in for a pint if you’re bored shopping, which for me happens after about 10 minutes. This place has a murmur; no music, no tellies, just a bunch of people murmuring the Neary murmur.

Ideally you’d like to just go into town with the other half, let her off to the shops & you just head straight to Neary but we all know you’d just look like an alco then so fortunately for me I ran into fellow G-lover Ro in town on this day, also out shopping with his other half, & he was thinking in the exact same way. Having drank The Good-BlacknWhite here on manys an occasion, I knew the quality was decent so, in the comfort of the cosy snug, I settled down to what looked like a right solid number; bit o’the cream, perfect head-size, not a bubble to be seen; happy days.

Neary 13 Dec 15 3
It looks right

The lip-flop proved the creaminess so I went right ahead & gave it a gulp-gargle; mmmm; thirst-quenching black gold. Good marks for taste, an all-round decent pint. This is what every pub should be able to give us if they take our money. Of course, I had another. And then another. And then another. But then, seeing as how I was getting married the next day, I decided to quit while I was ahead & made like a banana.

Neary serves a high 3/4; not quite cream-heaven, but a good slurp, in great surroundings.

Mount Wolseley Hotel, Carlow – Dec ’15 (2/4)

Not Guinness time, not here anyway.

Yes, it’s a hotel bar, and it’s a bloody massive hotel too. It’s a kids hotel really; they’re everywhere. They’re in reception, in the hallways, outside lifts & everywhere in the lounge. All-ages, from 3 months to probably 13 years, playing chasing round the tables, crawling backwards on all fours, screaming at parents, screaming at each other, screaming at themselves, yes it’s all happening in this lounge. Where are the parents you might ask? Well, they’re right there in the lounge too, boozing away. So parents bring kids here because it’s an extremely child-friendly hotel with a vast lounge (play) area. The adults are not here for quality pints, they’re just here for any pints! So what would you really expect from the Guinness here?

Served up with a bubble-filled head (we know a Guinness head tells no lies), I was absolutely expecting a the worst….

Bubble Head

I gave it an average sup &, to my surprise, it didn’t taste like the dregs. Certainly not one I’d describe as creamy, no way, not even opening the tasty-book, but drinkable, yes, enough to try another to be safe. Yet again, it was ok-ish, certainly not horrific; they’re consistent anyway.

Mt Wol 29.12.15 1

I was thinking of giving a low 3 here but “sher, it’s drinkable” isn’t good enough, “sher, it’s drinkable” is a 2/4. More effort definitely needed here to get in the good books.

The Long Stone, Dublin – Dec ’15 (2/4)

Not Guinness time, not here anyway.

This is a nice pub alright & was all Chrismassed up which added to the atmosphere & the anticipation because, as we all know, it’s always nice to have good G when you have all the decorations up all round & a Christmas tree in the corner. With Christmas cheer a decent looking pint landed in front of me (see bottom left below) so I gave it a good gulp-gargle. Unfortunately the head wasn’t great on the cream side & the taste was well-off. Bit o’the squinty-wince face I’m afraid; wasn’t happy. In fairness, the chap that poured it wasn’t a local so for my second I tried the back bar & a local lad. The pint tasted just a little better, nothing to drag itself over the halfway line into the much sought after 3 territory though. The head retention was good on this pint (see left below) but the taste was still off which goes to show, it’s all about the chemicals!

Long Stone 1.2.1

As ever, I trudged on through them but wasn’t too happy, considering I could practically smell the goodness from Mulligan’s around the corner. The pints never improved, nor did my G-mood. Sorry Long Stone, you gotta try harder.

Mulligan’s, Dublin – Dec ’15 (4/4)

My goodness! Now that’s Guinness!

Had been seriously looking forward to this pint as it had been over 2 months since my last visit to G-Mecca. Got in early from a cold & blustery winters day, ordering my first pint at around 1/2 1. The place was all Christmassed up so, though it was pretty empty, it was still cozy enough & the though of Dublin’s best pints would warm any heart. The anticipation… imagine how happy I was when this landed in front of me. Holy crap! Look at the head on that; cream-heaven! It’s actually gravitating towards my mouth!

Mulligans 2 dec 15
I could eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Yes, it treated me to the softest & most glorious lip-flop, like I’d just popped my head up through a cloud. So cold, so delicious…. so consistent. As you can see from the pic, once the dribble cream-leak fell overboard, the head closed up again immediately; quality (the alternative is when a cream leak starts a waterfall, that’s a bad sign).

The pints in here never cease to amaze me. All day they were just perfect. And they just kept on flowing, mmmmm…..

mulligans dec 15 1 1
Quite a few had been consumed at this point so you’ll have to excuse the tardy 9pm look about them.

Guinness as it should be in here. Again, thank you Mulligans for your efforts; you keep our faith in the G alive!

Ely Winebar, Dublin – Nov ’15 (2/4)

Not Guinness time, not here anyway.

As can probably be ascertained from the name of this establishment, this is not somewhere one would generally frequent if they were after the finer pint. But for those of us who are after the pint regardless of where we are, this review is pertinent. I would not expect the pint to be all that great here to be honest but they have a tap & they charge €5.30 a jar & therefore they are fully open to judgement & that’s what they’ll get.

The cosy cellar had a pleasant, if mildly-pompous, atmosphere & the pint didn’t look half bad when served; bit o’the cream, nothing overly watery & nothing to be afraid of. Upon tasting, it didn’t seem too bad at first but as I moved through it the squinty-wince came to the fore. To compound the problem, my ultra-sensitive nose was picking up extreme fermented-grape flavourings which was making the pint taste worse. As they only have a Guinness tap & a blandom high-street-beer tap here, I do not expect that much effort goes into the Guinness draft & thus the over-carbonated taste. I saw the pint through, though disappointingly couldn’t hit the finisher. You are only getting a pint of Guinness here if you don’t like wine (me) & are eager to see if they can pull off the pint-o-G in a wine bar (me) but take it from a G-man; they can’t. Try a bottled beer or maybe a tea.

The Gingerman, Dublin – Oct ’15 (2/4)

Not Guinness time, not here anyway.

I had been looking forward to my end-of-week pint for a couple of days. It was well deserved too as work had been busy-as-fork all week. Arriving at around ten past six on a Friday, the crowd was 4 deep outside, but it wasn’t at-all jammers inside so there was no bother getting served. I was at the upstairs bar & the pint on delivery looked grand; the head had a bit o’the cream so I was upbeat about how the experience would be. Unfortunately, the taste was off, not squinty-wince-face but just not on: anti-tasty; the wrong side of 2. I knew by gulp 2 that it was a full-on let-down which is always so annoying when you can see a decent bit of cream n all. Anyway, I soldiered on through but knew it would be my first n last in this establishment. Absolutely not up to standard & not worth drinking in here. Try the Writers Block lager instead, nice & tasty; like Kronenberg, just without the violence.

Cassidy’s, Camden St., Dublin – Oct ’15 (4/4)

My goodness! Now that’s Guinness!

I was starting to think I’d never find another 4/4 outside of good old Mulligans. Well, how delighted I am to be able to say I was wrong. Yes! There is another pub in Dublin that actually cares enough about the average Guinness drinker to make sure that the pints are top quality every time.

The place was fairly packed, as it was the Sunday of an Ireland weekend & there was rugby then football on the telly, so it took a few mins to get my pint but by-jaysus was it worth it. Good creamy head, nice & solid, sprouting up over the lip, perfect priest’s collar. Look at this beauty:

Cassidys 11.10.15 2 small

But the real excitement hit during my first gulp. Not only did it give me the perfect creaminess but the taste was just amazing! I was buzzing as it flowed down, I knew it was good, possibly very good. When you realise you have a really good one on your hands you get that feeling you got when you’d get into an over 18’s disco at the age of 16: pure giddy. Mmmmmm, this was a great one. I could not believe how tasty it was; pure golden creamy goodness all the way to an absolutely gorgeous finisher. Heaven for a G-man.

Cassidys 11.10.15 Double

And the good ones kept coming. Guinnesslovers, this place cares about you. This is gonna become a regular G-haunt for me; nice atmosphere, nice interior, nice staff, Sunday trad seis is good craic too &, most importantly, top-quality Guinness. Thank you Cassidy’s.

The Long Hall, Dublin – Oct ’15 (2/4)

Not Guinness time, not here anyway.

No doubt about it, this is a cosy pub. The carpet on the floor, the friendly staff, the lively banter; it has all the right attributes. This is what was going through my mind as I ordered my first pint so I was feeling warm, fuzzy and generally happy with my lot. The pint, a fiver on the head, was expensive but I was expecting great things so didn’t let the price get me down. It looked great, really creamy looking head, the stage was set for this to be right up there.

Long Hall 10.10.15 small

The creamy head obviously provided a great lip-flop & I took a good long gulp. I tasted long & hard, I wanted it to be a success but unfortunately it just wasn’t up to it. It gave me that feeling that I may have been misled. Having a few more good slurps confirmed my initial thoughts. There was an inkling of that sharpishness that can ultimately lead to a squinty-wince face of a finisher & this one, though not by any means in the absolutely brutal category, turned out as expected. I had another to be safe but the result was the same. This is a lovely spot, they just need to make an effort with their Guinness to be able to justify charging €5 a pint in here. 2/4; Guinneslovers, avoid it.